This is your AARP!

15 May

Ring Ring Ring

Ring Ring Ring

Ring Ring Ring

After checking calling number which has been hidden


“Hello, this is (Americans for better things to be delivered to your doorstep or some other bull-crap name)”

“Hi, how are you?”

“I am fine. Do you have time for a survey?”

“Absolutely. Go ahead.”

“How many people over 65 live in the household?”

“Seventy five.”

“Uh – – – and how old are they?”

“They are all seventy five.”

“Uh – and how old are you?”

“Seventy four.”

“Do you read literature meant for senior citizens?”


“Are you a member of AARP?”

“Hell no.”

“Would you be willing to share why?”

“Yes – – – because they are a leftist pig organization.”

“Uh – – – Would you be willing to answer a few more questions for me?”


“Do you have a college education?”

“None of your business.”

“Did you finish high school?”

“None of your business.”

“Stop me when I reach your income level.”

“$10,000 to $15,000?”

Absolute Silence

$20,000 to $30,000?”

Absolute Silence

“$30,000 to $75,000?”

Absolute Silence

“$75,000 to $150,000?”

Absolute Silence

“Above that level?”

“None of your god damn business.”

“Are you a wonderful caregiver for a disabled person?”

“None of your business.”

“Are you caring for other family members who need help?”

“None of your business.”

“Do you help other helpless people or victims?”

“None of your business.”

“Is your name _______________ ?”

“You tell me.”

“Is your phone number _____________?”

“Hell no. This is a very private number and I have no idea how you got ahold of it. How about you telling me.”

“Well thank you very much sir for answering my questions.”

“I feel sorry that you have to have such a horrible job and that you have to ask such stupid questions.”

“Uh – – – uh – – – uh – – – .”

“However, I have to hand it to you. You have a job and are earning your way through this world.”

“Well – – – thank you for your time sir.”

“You are welcome. Goodbye and have a good day.”

CLICK!  buzzzzzzz  buzzzzz   buzz.



3 Responses to “This is your AARP!”

  1. Virginia Llorca May 15, 2013 at 11:11 pm #

    I consider it a milestone in my life that I am now able to say, “I don’t want to.” at appropriate times.

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