1 Jun


I was simply looking for a fishing pal,

But accidentally met an internet gal,

We Facebooked and Tweeted through the night,

Until dawn breaking, shedding early first light.


She said she liked walks along deserted beach,

I told her I liked challenges, I enjoyed a big reach,

She sent me some photos, not one, two or three,

But a whole album, she was pretty I can’t disagree.


I told her my marriage was quite on the rocks,

I lived with dingy shirts and mismatched socks,

She was lonely, her marriage not working out,

He was an abuser, a bully, a fat lurking lout.


She often posted clever things on FaceBook,

Every morning I arose to take a quick look,

In hopes of finding a secret love message for me,

“There is something, yes something” I said with glee.


I spent hours and hours on internet at work,

My boss started watching, he was such a big jerk,

Her husband watched her also, not a trusting soul,

We needed to hook-up, we aspired to that goal.


Month after month at the end of each day,

We contacted each other, the internet way,

We Facebooked our digital sins to each other,

Opened our souls, without wondering wuther.


We were doing anything wrong, immoral too,

Both needing a real life that was long overdue,

An arrangement was made, we could soon meet,

At Lexington Avenue and East 97th Street.


I was to wear brown pants and matching bow tie,

She was going to be in yellow, bright like the sky,

We both waited on the corner, neither of us aware,

That two husky males would make a horrible pair.


He assumed my name “Jackie”, was feminine you see,

And it seemed that “Freddie” was Caribbean to me,

We laughed all the way to Greek delicatessen,

And agreed no longer would we be internet messin’.


We were not switch hitters, one way, just AC,

This was a terrible stretch for him and for me,

Person to person “friendship” is the only way to go,

You never know on facebook who or what will show.


So if you get an hankering for vicarious digital thrills,

There are Willhelmenas who previously were Bills,

Save Facebook for politics and other silly stuff too,

Out there it’s a nuthouse a complex psycho zoo.


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