NEWSFLASH: Timezone Bravo Zulu Alpha MOSCOW

2 Aug

While President Putin was fishing for Great Northern Pike in the Urals, a rogue lawyer has been able to find lodging for NSA leaker Snowden in the secret village of Null.

Putin was furious when made aware of the situation and ripped his own shirt off thereby exposing his upper body.

Gangam Style Psy (not to be confused with the Pussy Posse who are now in the Gulag Archipelago singing archipelo) stated that he wished to do Snowden, gang style.

This was quickly seconded by Anthony Wiener who followed up by sending photos of himself, section by section, to Psy.

They were last seen galloping off together towards Lacy Lhethers apartment with Ediot Spritzer not far behind.

President Yo’mama is still trying to figure out why Snowden leaked on the NSA.

Eirik Hold-Her remains totally ignorant of whatever happened during the pardoning of Clark Ritch, how anyone could accuse him of being fast or furious, and why the FBI has not started investigating the IRS and Ben Ghazi (Hold-Her is still investigating Ben Dover).

Ray Carnal remains in the position of Bright House spokesman and remains with that little twisted look on his face as he attempts, for the 34th time, to explain what the hell is going on in Worsington,BC.

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