A VERY MALE THANKSGIVING

28 Nov

 

BURNT OFFERING

BURNT OFFERING

Turkey thawed three days ahead of time (thanks poultry manglers for putting this hint on the plastic bag that you shrunk wrapped around the bird). I am not sure if I should have put it in the refrigerator to thaw but it took a long time and really wasn’t in my way on the countertop.

It also said “wash turkey” and this turned out to be a rather simple process. That is why they put that plastic thing on the turkey’s feet. I tied a rope around this plastic do-dad and hung it from the clothes line. Then I hosed it down (after I thawed out the water hose which was almost frozen shut).

While I was doing this I found out what great guys these poultry manglers were. They put a bunch of bear lure in a bag. It was presented to me just as I finished hosing the bird down. There was a whole bunch of turkey parts in the bag. I left it on the back porch for next week when I go hunting.

Then I put the turkey in the oven.

Oh yes, before I put it in the oven I remembered that they said to paste it with oil. All I had was 10W-30 so I hope that will suffice.

While the bird was cooking (325 degrresfor some amount of time for some size bird but I have no idea how many pounds it was so I measured its length and divided that by its girth and decided that 8 hours would do the trick.

YAMS!   I love yams. I opened two big cans of yams with my hobby Dremel power grinder (couldn’t find my can opener) and threw them in the iron skillet. Set the dial to high. I like blackened yam so I left them there for quite some time and threw lots of Cajun powder on top.

I have no idea why someone hasn’t put turkey stuffing in a can. Some nut in the grocery store thought I was going to cut a bunch of onions and celery and dry out some bread and then mix it all together. Then he said I would have to put some turkey stock on it. HE HAD TO BE NUTS AND I TOLD HIM SO. I am not going to cut the wooden stock off of my best turkey gun and throw it on top of a bunch of bread and vegatables. He must have been one of them vegantable nuts.

So I finished off preparing the meal with radishes and cans of cranberry jelly sauce. Of course I got some metal chips in the cranberry sauce while I was grinding the cans open so I had to throw some of the top part away. I tried it before I threw it away but it was sort of gritty and I did not want to listen to baseless complaints from my guests (Bob and Joe – – – a couple of whiners if I ever met any).

So now I have a few hours to enjoy a few Southern Comfort Manhattans. I’ll try to get back with you tomorrow to let you know how things worked out.

Boy – – – those little roots on the radishes sure get stuck in between your teeth awful easy.

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9 Responses to “A VERY MALE THANKSGIVING”

  1. virginiallorca November 28, 2013 at 11:18 pm #

    My husband’s mouth is watering over your yams. (That sounds so naughty.) But he already had them once today.

    HIs favorite Thanksgiving story is when his young aunt had everbody over and discovered at serving time she had forgotten to turn on the oven.
    Have a great day! Thanks for the smiles!

  2. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky November 25, 2015 at 2:15 pm #

    Reblogged this on waldotomosky.

  3. easyweimaraner November 25, 2015 at 2:21 pm #

    that’s the way my dad would do it too. he once bought a goose for christmas and because he was smart he bought a giant roasting pan for the berd. and he was surprised as the berd fits into the pan but the pan was toooo big for the oven … so he tried to roast the goose in the pan on the bbq grill. … and it’s not easy to find an open pizza store at christmas… just saying :o)

  4. Carl D'Agostino November 25, 2015 at 5:29 pm #

    Seems you’re just a “get pizza delivery” kinda guy.

  5. J.B. Whitmore November 26, 2015 at 3:43 pm #

    Ha Ha! Wait. What about the pie?

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