22 May

Laura Beastley, who writes the minimalist blog “Why do I feel this way, mother, whenst you beat me every Whitsones Eve with a willow switch?” has asked me to accept the “Fatuous Award” which requires me to answer five questions about myself and my writing.

I offer the following with sincere emphasis on being loyal to the request whilst being loyal to my magnificence.

Request #1: Say five things about yourself that is not common knowledge.

Response #1: “Five things about yourself that is not common knowledge.”

Request #2: What is your writing style; how do you accomplish it?

Response #2: If it is the morning, I make little squiggly things on paper with my pencil. If it is evening I punch small black buttons with white symbols on them. These often create words.

Request #3: How many followers do you have?

Response #3: All of them.

Request #4: How do you avoid writer’s block?

Response #4: I turn left on 1st Street and then double back on Linden Avenue.

Request #5: Do your current plans include a novel?

Response #5: I don’t care for currents, I never make plans, I have excluded most things from my mind, and lastly, I find absolutely nothing novel about your questions – – – so buzz off!


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