DAIRY FARM FAMILY TRAPPED!

1 Apr

As the snow melted away in Boston, Massachusetts it remained deep in the Berkshire Mountain areas to the west. State Troopers and The Wildlife department joined together to rescue a family who had been trapped at their family farm for over three months. The farm is located at the distant end of a twenty mile dirt road.

It was necessary for the family to continue milking their one hundred head of cows. However, the milk truck tankers could no longer reach the family after the first twenty-six inches of snow started to accumulate. The family came upon a unique solution.

One of their silos had been emptied just a few weeks before the trucks stopped arriving. The family hosed the silo down and inserted a white sleeve made of the long plastic hay holders often seen on farms. When their stainless steel milk cooler became full the family began putting the milk inside the sleeve that lined the silo.

The family never realized that this would have to continue for three months. As the weather became colder they realized that the milk was freezing and expanding. This created so much pressure on the silo that it started to buckle outward.

The young son of the family, Joey, suggested that they use the same method that they used on their swimming pool; put something in it that would absorb the pressure. The family decided against putting large beach-balls in the silo. Instead they decided to hang a thirty-two foot section of white PVC pipe from the top of the silo so that the pressure would act on the pipe instead of the silo.

It worked.

Ironically, the family was discovered on the day of the Patron Saint of Dairy Farming; St. Abrile Thom Foolery’s Day.

The Guinness Book of Records will visit the family tomorrow, April 2nd, to determine if their creation would be entered in the book for the largest ‘ice-cream bar’ ever manufactured. The entire city of Boston has been invited to partake in the consumption of the ice-cream bar immediately after the Guiness judges make their decision.

{Filed for the PB$ network show “NoThingLeftUnConsidered”; W. Tomosky}

Humoungous-Terrificus Ice Cream Bar

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10 Responses to “DAIRY FARM FAMILY TRAPPED!”

  1. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky April 1, 2015 at 12:06 pm #

    Reblogged this on The Short Stories of Waldo.

  2. virginiallorca April 1, 2015 at 5:15 pm #

    Only you, Wally.

    • Waldo "Wally" Tomosky April 1, 2015 at 6:24 pm #

      Who else would be crazy enough to post something like this knowing that half the people that read it will not get it. And then they will say “Geez, Wally is just posting stuff from newspapers now. Must be losing it!” Well, if I am going to be known as someone ‘Losing it’ then I want to go out with a bang (but not like that fool that wrote The Old Man and the Sea). I just want to go out in a paddy wagon with two aids dressed in white saying ‘Come on Wally, don’t cause us any trouble. We have a nice new home for you. Lot’s of people like yourself there.’

  3. calmkate May 1, 2017 at 12:16 am #

    how absolutely delightful, hilarious … oh you do write well and such a huge variety!

    • Waldo "Wally" Tomosky May 1, 2017 at 12:22 am #

      Thanks again. I hope someday to be noticed by a literary agent; hopefully the same one that was an agent for Plato. He seemed to do fairly well. And that other fellow – – – what was his name? – — Oh yes, Homer.

      • calmkate May 1, 2017 at 12:29 am #

        not even comparable Wally, you are in a unique league of your own and should be published commercially …. a few photos and let’s make this happen.

        We all want recognition but you deserve it!

      • Waldo "Wally" Tomosky May 1, 2017 at 12:31 am #

        Aww shucks M’am. You are too kind.

      • calmkate May 1, 2017 at 12:32 am #

        is that money in the mail? lol

      • Waldo "Wally" Tomosky May 1, 2017 at 12:36 am #

        Pecuniary rewards? My good lady – – – how crass! I was thinking more along the lines of a “LIKE” on your next post.

      • calmkate May 1, 2017 at 12:37 am #

        cheap skate! lol

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