A Representative Will Be With You Momentarily

14 May



Dear Customer Service,

Please read the above definition of ‘momentarily.’

Did you see anywhere in the definition the word ‘minutes?’

Did you see a quantitative value such as five, ten or fifteen minutes?

Did you see anything saying that said we will play stupid idiotic music for as long as we choose?

Did the definition say that you would be telling us what a great company you are and how many different services you provide;  except customer service?

Did it say that if you are bewildered by the word ‘momentarily’ and are tired of waiting you could leave us your phone number and we will call you back; if and when we want to at our own convenience – – – not the convenience of the customer?

Did you say that you would call back the minute we sat down on the toilet and couldn’t answer your return call?

Did the definition say that you would switch us to another message that said we could get better service if we used your internet page which is totally worthless because it is so slow and you forgot to hire a human interface engineer; instead you hired a web page designer who is, was and will always be a nerd who has no concept of ‘working with others?’

Did the definition say that ‘the voice’ would come back to us every two minutes to tell us that  ‘We value our customers’ and ‘A representative will be with you momentarily?’

Did the definition say that ‘you are the umpteenth’ customer in the queue and your expected wait time will be ‘as soon as the Eurozone stops squabbling amongst themselves?’


So the bill I was attempting to pay over the phone will be sent to you – – – – momentarily.

Thank you, I value your service.




4 Responses to “A Representative Will Be With You Momentarily”

  1. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky February 28, 2016 at 9:26 pm #

    Reblogged this on waldotomosky.

  2. Carl D'Agostino March 28, 2016 at 1:24 pm #

    I get better response by writing letters esp to executives.

  3. Carl D'Agostino March 28, 2016 at 2:04 pm #

    A while back I was at the food stop gas station at the Western Union counter. The person was doing this and that for 15 minutes and never even acknowledged my presence, finished her task and walked out of the store and drove off. I was so enraged and astonished I was speechless. I got a letter off to the corporate office. She does not work there anymore.

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