A FEW MORE “TECHNICAL TRICKS FOR YOUR DEVICES”

25 Aug

USB

We offer – – – right here – – – for free, three new ways to keep your technical devices in tip top shape.

  1. Recharging that smart phone
  2. Watching ‘pay/view’ movies for free
  3. Perpetual power through that USB port

 

  1. Recharging that smart phone

We know that recharging that smart phone is essential to keeping up with the Kardashians (and the Duggers and the latest on the Ashley Madison rumors).

Therefore the following tip on how to keep that smart phone loaded with amps.

At night, just after you turn off the TV and before you go to bed, take a two quart plastic container (I prefer to use the ones that Wonton soup comes in from the Chinese restaurant) and place it under an electrical wall socket (any wall socket will do). We all know that there are very small spikes in the flow of current to your home. These spikes will send out electrons from your wall socket (these are harmless and normally dissipate without notice). Now here is the beauty of this tip!

These electrons will fall into the plastic container (it must be either plastic or rubberized) and collect there throughout the night.

The next morning place your smart phone in the container being careful not to spill too many of the electrons. Place the lid on the container and by time you get to work (or to Starbucks or to the Doggy Park) your smart phone will be fully charged by the residue electrons captured in the container.

For those of you who use tablets or laptops or any device with a USB port; cut a slit in the container lid, plug the USB port into your device and carefully slide the other end through the slit you have just cut in the lid. Be sure that the terminal end of the USB port is all the way to the bottom of the container. That way you can ensure that all the residue electrons that you collected overnight will be charging your device.

 

  1. Watching ‘pay/view’ movies for free

This little gem of a trick will be driving the cable companies nuts!

First, select a pay per view channel but don’t order it.

Second, turn off the TV.

It is a well-kept secret between the cable companies, the satellite companies and the TV manufacturers, that the pixels on our TVs are underpowered. This means that there is more power available than is needed to light up a single pixel. Therefore each pixel has power to spare.

This is much like the extra current power from your electrical socket except that it is the colors that we will be collecting.

Now the secret of this trick is to place a long container under your TV before you turn it off. I prefer to use the same type of pan that is used for wetting wall paper. They can be purchased in various lengths and you can get them in plastic as well as aluminum. The aluminum ones hold the brightness of the residue pixels better than the plastic ones.

While you are sleeping the residue pixels that are coming through the cable from your dish (or from the cable company) will be emitted from the front of your TV. These pixels are always being emitted from your TV but you can only see them when the power is on. These pixels will fall into the wallpaper pan.

When you are ready to see the movie connect one end of your USB port to your device and place the other end in the wallpaper pan. It is best to put that end to the left hand side of the pan because that is the way that the pixels were originally sent through the cable; left to right.

Sit back and enjoy the movie!

 

  1. Perpetual ‘Power to the Port’    PPTTP

As you may have noticed – – – no matter when you plug in a USB cable there is always power and signal to the device you have plugged in. When you are not using a USB connected printer (or any other USB cabled device) you have the option of containing that power within your laptop.

The trick here is to find a USB cable with both ends exactly alike. Most electronic shops will tell you that there is no such item. You will have to insist upon it. If they remain adamant about it just tell them the key-word “PPTTP” and they will know that you know that they know what you are talking about. This utterance has never failed me to obtain the PPTTP cable.

Once you have the PPTTP cable plug both ends into the dual USB ports that most devices have. This will reroute any power – – – that is normally lost through the empty USB port – – – right back into your device. People have increased their battery time by 125 pico-units over a one week period.

 

Well, that’s it from me, the Guru of “Technical Tricks For Your Devices”

Keep tuned in for our next series; “Keeping that Black and White Radio in Shape for the Cartoons” and “Correct Flue Connections for Your Natural Gas Operated Tablet” (or “Let Your Gas Pass”).

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5 Responses to “A FEW MORE “TECHNICAL TRICKS FOR YOUR DEVICES””

  1. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky August 25, 2015 at 10:49 am #

    Reblogged this on waldotomosky.

  2. Carl D'Agostino August 25, 2015 at 11:01 am #

    Do you know of anything to charge up my knees and ankles when I wake up in the morning ? I don’t think I’ll try any of these suspicious sounding suggestions. I had buckets outside for decades trying to catch “pennies from heaven”. Never got a single one.

  3. virginiallorca September 22, 2015 at 3:10 am #

    Wally,

    Are you getting enough fresh air and sunlight? I worry. ♡

    • Waldo "Wally" Tomosky September 22, 2015 at 11:01 am #

      Yes, you are correct. I failed to heed my own advice. I hooked up my coal powered black and white radio without properly venting it to the outside. The doctors told me that I had an acute case of coal gas poisoning. They advised me to not watch my radio for two weeks. They then had two aides (dressed in their finest whites, I must add) take me back to my cell.

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