COSMOGENIC

5 Oct

 

 Mary Mary

In retrospect – – – and in the face of possibly appearing rude, offensive, insolent or impolite – – – I have decided not to post anything about the contrarian “Mary, Mary.” I have been informed that the old English Poem may not have included ‘All pretty cuckolds in a row’ but rather was originally written as ‘All pretty mades maids in a row.”

Be that as it may, we move on to a more scientific element.

The following is a definition of cosmogenic according to WikiWacky or some other official source; damned if I can remember where I copied it from!

 

Cosmogenic isotopes are rare isotopes created when a high-energy cosmic ray interacts with the nucleus of an in situ Solar System atom, causing cosmic ray spallation.

 

I have it on an absolutely solid source that Cosmogenic means no such thing.

‘Cosmogenic’ is defined by my source as a beautiful woman who has had her picture plastered all over Cosmopolitan magazine; to wit:

Cosmopolitan pretty

Damn if she doesn’t remind me of ‘Mary, Mary.’

But back to Cosmogenic isodopes. Now I must admit that I have no idea what an ISODOPE is. So back to the internet sources.

Isodopes are vagrants of a particular chemical dependent.

That makes a lot of sense. How about ‘in situ?’

In situ indicates that the subject matter has been left in its original place.

(My source = Fred who is sitting on the bar stool three places to my right).

So what do we have so far?

A chemically dependent vagrant who has not moved from the same spot since he has been discovered.

Now, finally, we get to the last word puzzle; ‘Spallation.’

 

Spallation is a process in which fragments of material (spall) are ejected from a body due to impact or stress. In the context of impact mechanics it describes ejection or vaporization of material from a target during impact by a projectile.

 

Exactimento my good friends!

When Fred got knocked off his bar stool (by some stranger; Fred had made goo-goo eyes at the stranger’s girlfriend) a few teeth were ejected (spalled) from his mouth. Now about the vaporization; Fred’s girlfriend got ‘the vapors’ during all that excitement.

And so our definition of cosmogenics is complete.

Fred, who was in situ, was a chemically dependent vagrant who made eye contact with Easy Sleazy. He got hit with a high-energy impact which caused his teeth to enter a state of spallation. The Isodopes involved were kicked out of the bar by the owner.

It was an exciting night. I wish Cosmic Ray would have been there. However, he was booked the previous night for the spallation of a window in a liquor store. Damned if I know why he just didn’t purchase a bottle before the store closed; but that’s Cosmic Ray – – – if you get my drift.

Now how in the world could I close out this missive without a cosmogenic photo of Easy Sleazy? It just wouldn’t be fair.

Cosmopolitan ugly

Maybe tomorrow we can talk about “The Cosmogony.”

Wouldn’t that be great?

Author

 

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7 Responses to “COSMOGENIC”

  1. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky October 5, 2015 at 2:57 am #

    Reblogged this on waldotomosky.

  2. GP Cox October 5, 2015 at 10:46 am #

    O_o

  3. Carl D'Agostino October 7, 2015 at 11:08 am #

    The worst spallation is when you spallate your drink on the table and have no money left and your tab is too high for the “lemme pay ya on Friday when my check comes in for coupla more drinks” appeal to the bartender. Your glance at friends and patrons is returned by a quick look the other way response. Then it’s time to spallate on home and hope you find a pint stashed somewhere, anywhere. I tried to keep a few emergency pints stashed but none were there as they had all been drunk up in emergencies.

  4. bearspawprint October 27, 2015 at 1:18 am #

    “Cosmogenic isotopes are rare isotopes created when a high-energy cosmic ray interacts with the nucleus of an in situ Solar System atom, causing cosmic ray spallation”.

    I think credit might go to Raymond Yllachiavelli, who sat in front of me in 10th grade physics. He had long legs that wouldn’t fit under the desk top.. Mr. Karis asked Cosmic Ray what should he be called as his name was unpronounceable. “You may call me Sir.” Was his an-sir. The rests of us called him Cosmic Ray.

    • Waldo "Wally" Tomosky October 27, 2015 at 1:24 am #

      Thanks for this piece of worthy information. I had it on good authority that Cosmic Ray actually existed; probably in a parallel time/space/dimensional/weird continueueueueueueueueum.

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